They say that young people are growing up too fast in today’s high-speed world and thirty is the new twenty. That may be true but in a way few have meant that expression. The young men of today may be growing up too fast but emotionally they are lagging behind as never before and perhaps one of the greatest impacts of that slowed maturation is showing up in the social circles of young women.

Ask most young women in their twenties what they think about their male counterparts and you will come up with a variety of reasons these young ladies are seeking more mature companionship. On the relationship front it can truly be said thirty is the new twenty and thirty something men are taking the hotties. Some of the reasons women state for the appeal of older men are:

Appearance

Young males typically wearing low slung jeans that display their undergarments may be the epitome of ‘coolness’ on the street level, but in the dating realm it leaves a lot to be desired. Young women have long been known to be more mature than men of their own age but it seems that the latest trends have descended to a brand new level of inelegance that young ladies find repulsive.

Ripped jeans and t-shirts have been a trend since the rebellious 60’s but what was once sexy has turned into crude with knee level crotches and rear ends on display at every turn. The school and business world tendencies toward more casual clothing is closing the boundaries between what is casual and what is appropriate for formal wear as well. This has lead to the more or less typical twenty year old male feeling secure in dressing like a thug for a date as much as he feels comfortable sitting around the house with his ‘homies’ in his baggy jeans and wife-beater shirt. His compadres may think he’s cool, but the young women of today are turning away in droves.

Traditionally men in their thirties have grown past the youthful need to rebel and dress unconventionally. While today’s more relaxed society still allows for more mature men to dress comfortably when at home and socially and you will rarely find men dressed in business suits when out shopping, or at the movies like you might have in the50’s and 60’s, they are much more apt to want to look sharp and well-dressed to impress the ladies when they go out on a date. Women in their twenties are finding older men much more visually appealing than those in their own age group more than ever before.

Unsettled Desires

With life expectancy increasing every decade by about the same amount young men in their twenties no longer feel the pressure to ‘grow up’ and settle down that their ancestors did. In the early 1900’s and before the average life expectancy was 50-60 years old (and less as history goes back) therefore men needed to mature and take over businesses and family life quickly in order to achieve success. Today’s youth feel no rush to succeed or complete their families because life expectancies are in the 80’s and beyond thanks to medical science. Unfortunately medical science has not evolved to the point where feminine reproductive ages have expanded so women still feel the need, desire, and urgency to enter into marriage and family early in their young adult lives so that they can enjoy the full experience of family life.

Even though there is no age limit on the ability of the male of the species to procreate, men in their thirties have begun to feel their own mortality just enough to desire a more settled existence and a complete family life. Younger women are drawn to the more settled lifestyles of older males because of that and the hotties are once again being taken by the more mature men.

Money

It stands to reason that the above example also leads to mature men having more money available and more financial stability. Because younger men are less focused on getting settled into a business and family life they tend to have less bank. Society also promotes a more promiscuous lifestyle filled with party and pleasure seeking. This fun-seeking at the expense of their security leaves a lot of 20 something young men without a stable position, home, or future plans.

The more mature man of today usually has a much firmer grip on their affairs and has taken the time to develop his career. He has more cash on hand to spend truly enjoying his free time as well which makes developing a relationship easier and more fun for the woman who is interested in him. Older men often have nicer cars and their own homes too which are big incentives for women in their twenties looking for a lifetime relationship.

Older men are more likely to have solid credit histories and good lines of credit as well. It is hardly an over-used cliché that women love to shop. It’s much easier to shop when your man has deep pockets than it is when he’s wallowing in the gutter having spent his last ten bucks on beer the night before.

Future Security

Tied in with the more stable current financial state men in their thirties and beyond are often thinking about what they will do when they are ready to retire. The average twenty something hasn’t a clue and many seem oblivious to the fact that they too will someday grow old. Mature men often have begun serious investment strategies which go way beyond their current financial well-being into having a secure financial future. Younger women who are seeking a long term and stable life with a man are looking to older men who have not only the present but the future well in control. The “living in the moment” philosophy most twenty something young men of today have just doesn’t cut it with the women in their age group.

Hopping

The young men of ‘Generation Next’ are more likely than ever before to feel like they do not know where they want to go career wise and spend a lot of time hopping from one job to the next. They also spend a lot of time feeling like they do not know where they want to go relationship wise and spend a lot of time hopping from one woman to the next. This is a very unappealing prospect for women of any age. Relationships for women have always differed from men in the emotional ties department but none more than they do now with young people in their twenties. Young, hot woman still desire what women of all ages have and that’s a man who is ready to develop a strong set of emotional ties to them—and only them.

Older men are more likely to have finished hopping around and discovered there is little allure to multiple partners. They are seeking a long-term loving relationship with firm emotional ties and they are getting all the women as a result.

Fumbling Bumblers

Even though younger men may spend more time playing the field they are also more apt to drop and fumble the ball sexually. They are usually in a lot more hurry as well and women even in their twenties know some things are best taken slow and savored. Older men have experience on their side and know what satisfies a woman. They are also much more apt to take their time and care about how much enjoyment their partners are getting from the total sexual experience than younger men.

Younger women also feel, rightly or not, that an older man is more apt to shoulder the responsibilities of sexual relationships. Older men are also more prone to be self-assured in their sexual responses and not be embarrassed by typical physical cycles of life. Older men are also more likely to understand the implications of STD’s as well and take charge of preventing them for the sake of both himself and his partner.

Apron String Syndrome

Along with the decreased desire to grow up young men in their twenties often still live at home with their parents. They are less likely to be independent of their parents in many ways including making decisions and tend to be more attached to parental advice as a result of not wanting to grow up and take responsibility for their actions and decisions. The often exhibit more crudeness in their manners and attitudes as well and younger women are turning away from the vulgar speech and childish attitudes exhibited by the younger men today.

The hotties of today want a man who has some level of sophistication. They turn to more mature men because they are more likely to have an independent attitude that provides a feeling of emotional security for them.

Society

There is a lot less pressure from outside peers in regards to age groups or other pairings so younger women feel less restricted in who they can and cannot date. Parental influence plays a smaller role in a woman’s choices than they did a few decades ago as well leaving them freer to pick and choose a partner that truly suits them and their desires.

Big Daddies

The old saying that women are looking to marry their daddies is sometimes true. Some women are looking for a man that can provide them with the comfort, security, and even intellectual superiority that their father’s provided – or in some cases did not provide for them. They don’t want a child who is as emotionally needy as they are, they want someone in control.

Probably one of the most significant reasons the hotties are being taken by more mature men is:

Respect

Aretha Franklin said it best—R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me. Women are saying it loud and clear by choosing men who show them respect. They are finding younger men have two outlooks toward women: 1-mommy replacements, and 2-sex objects. Not that women have a complete revulsion toward either but there is a place for everything. Women today do not want to simply replace a man’s mother, nor do they want to be treated like the only thing they are in the relationship for is to provide sex. Most want to be a mother for sure, but they also want a career and a man who treats them as an equal.

Older men are more likely to treat women with respect and as an equal. They are also more likely to appreciate a woman with career goals and a life plan. The hot young babes want to be treated like sexy feminine women in the bedroom and talked to like intelligent equal partners in a relationship too.

Drawbacks

While there is a lot to be said for the idea that age is just a number there can be a few drawbacks the further apart a couple is in ages. Up to ten years usually shows very little differences as most women are emotionally older and often have a wider scope intellectually than their same-age counterparts anyway, however, over ten years begins to show some gaps. Beyond a ten year difference can have some hurdles relationship wise as the social and knowledge bases are different. Life experiences before a couple meets have usually been drastically different beyond a ten-year age difference.

These differences can be breeched and do not have to mean a bad end to a relationship. It is important to realize that they do exist though in order to successfully overcome those differences. If there is a very great age difference (more than fifteen years) serious planning for a financial security should the older partner not be around for the full life of the other is in order.

If all of those issues are faced reasonably and realistically there is truly no limitation to maturity in a relationship; and men, like fine wine do get better with age.

On a happy note for the younger men out there, all is not lost; there are plenty of cougars around who are looking around for their next Tom cat.

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